When we find ourselves in the midst of a crisis or loss, it can difficult to find anything positive about our lives much less the future. I know that when I was in the midst of grieving all the losses that seem to hit me back to back, being positive felt almost impossible. However, I knew it was important to balance my grief and inner work on my wounds with the energy of love and hope. It was not always easy, but I kept trying. That is really the key. You must work just as hard on moving into love and hope as you do on processing your pain and fear. It is a balancing act. Here are a few of the things that worked for me that I highlighted in my book, How Learning to say Goodbye Taught Me How to Live.
After any meditation or emotional clearing, I would take a few moments and envision my Higher Self wrapping her arms around me. Sometimes she would offer me encouraging words and other times she would just hold and nurture me. It does not matter the image you choose. If you prefer Jesus or Buddha or the Goddess or even an animal that is fine just as long as you choose an image that represents unconditional love and safety to you. It is the energies of love and nurturing that you are looking to add back to your daily life so that you can not just weather the storm but come out of it blossoming.
ANGEL WHISPERS
Another way I lifted myself during the difficult times is to look for the angel whispers. Angel whispers to me are those small moments that someone or something reminds you that there is more to your world than just pain and grief. It can be something as simple as someone holding the door for you, greeting you with a smile, or a neighbor complimenting your yard. If you begin to take note of those small gestures, you will notice more and more love coming at you daily. No, it will not take away your pain, but it will remind you that the world is still a loving, friendly place despite your pain.
When I hit that intense period of losses, I had real trouble finding authentic gratitude. I was not feeling very grateful for where I found myself! So, I started looking back into my life where things had turned around for me. I would remember situations where I had no hope and no inkling how to get out of whatever mess I found myself in. However, somehow I did get out of those messes, and in ways that lead to something better than I could have ever imagined. Taking time to remember those past moments enabled me to feel genuine gratitude and that was enough to lift me. That simple practice also reminded me that if it could happen then, it could happen now!
Nothing will lift you quicker than play and laughter. During that loss period, I made sure I went over to friend’s house and played once a week. That one night off gave me the strength the rest of the week to do my inner homework and process my flood of emotions. I also consciously chose TV shows that would make me laugh, so I could end my day with laughter or a smile. If nothing funny was on TV, I could always count on my pets to bring me a smile. As I say in the book, “Tears can be healing, but it is laughter that frees your spirit and causes you to fly above the pain. Even if it is just for a moment, it will remind you that you are still capable of joy”.
So the next time someone tells you to be positive while your heart is breaking rather than wanting to slap them, silently thank them for the angel whisper and look for ways to add more positive practices into your daily life. It will not take away all of your pain or keep you from having to do your inner homework, but it will help to remind you that you are more than your pain. Sometimes that is all we need to remember.
Until next time, be the light the world needs and stay in love for all.
Joffre McClung is the author of two books, How Learning to Say Goodbye Taught Me How to Live ( Kirkus Indie Reviews “Heartfelt reflections on the lessons and strength to be gained from grief and loss….A thoughtful think piece.”) and The Heart of the Matter ( A Workbook and Guide to Finding Your Way Back to Self-Love) due out in spring of 2017.
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