Does your ability to have compassion come with conditions?
I will have compassion for those caught in the Opioid crisis but not for those who struggle with Crack or Alcohol addiction after all no one made them into addicts. It is their fault.
I will have compassion for my neighbor who lost her job and do all I can to help her out but not for those who are on welfare or who panhandle for money. They just need to quit being lazy.
I will have compassion for those who are victims of a violent crime but not for the girl who got drunk at a party and was raped. She shouldn’t have put herself in the situation.
Of course, I will have compassion for those that have Cancer but not for those who suffer from Aids or Emphysema or Obesity. It is their choices that got them there.
No way will I have Compassion for that “redneck, hillbilly conservative” or that “elite snooty liberal” or that “ foreigner”? Hell no. They are nothing like me and certainly don’t have my same values. But then how would we know if they do since so few of us even try to have empathy for the “other.”
Empathy is the key.
Empathy is the practice of putting yourself in someone else’s shoes: To feel what it would be like to be someone with all they have experienced and had to bear in this life. It takes a willingness to feel the other person rather than standing apart and judging them. Without the sacred art of empathy, you cannot have compassion for your fellow human being.
A Compassionate heart is unlocked with empathy.
Compassion does not decide that some are worthy and some are not. Compassion is not contingent on whether you are a victim of circumstances or had a hand in the situation. A compassionate heart understands that we all are going to make mistakes or have life take a sudden turn but no mistake or turn makes us unworthy or undeserving of compassion. If we are alive, we are deserving of compassion.
If your compassion is conditional, then you are just playing an ego game. You have not truly felt what it would be like to walk in another’s shoes. You have simply agreed to let those who are “like” you or least “offensive” to you off the hook.
Without Empathy, there is no Compassion, and without Compassion, the world will remain harsh and unbending as we all will continue to retreat to our respective corners, alone and afraid of one another.
But when we value Empathy and Compassion and make it a daily practice then our world will be transformed into the beautiful paradise it is meant to be. A great place to start your practice is with yourself!
Until the next time be the light the world needs and stay in love for all.
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Joffre McClung is the author of two books The Heart of the Matter: A Workbook and Guide to Finding Your Way Back to Self-Love (“Powerful insights…life-changing” FOREWORD CLARION ” A virtual hug…enriching” BLUEINK REVIEWS, “enlightening self-discovery process” KIRKUS REVIEWS and How Learning to Say Goodbye Taught Me How to Live ( “A thoughtful think piece.” Kirkus Reviews )