Time to quit shaming people for not waking up on your schedule.
It is hard not to lose your way with all the heated rhetoric. Yes, you must stand up for what you feel is morally good and loving. But what happens to that good and loving stance when you meet someone who was slow to come around?
I watched different panels on TV berate a young man who had had the courage to admit he had made a mistake in believing in a certain candidate and was now speaking out about his mistake. These same people on the panels had been shouting for everyone to wake up and stand up. So why then when someone does wake up and stand up are they shamed for not doing it earlier? The young man was not a politician who had something to be gained. This young man was just an average “Joe” whom like all of us at one time or another in our lives had made a choice he regretted now and was willing to admit it.
The “need to be right” follows no party, religious, or moral lines. We all at times suffer from this “ailment.” I’m not perfect. I too have judgmental voices in my head screaming at times. But then I remember that the “need to be right” is an ego *safety net* and will never add anything of value to the world. I know that in my own life my views have evolved over the years. I would hate to think I was not allowed to evolve and grow for fear I could be shamed for taking so long. NO ONE comes out of the womb fully formed!
Rather than shaming people, we need to embrace people as they grow and evolve. We should celebrate and throw a party for someone who is waking up not ridicule or humiliate them for taking so long or for believing as they did, to begin with. An ex- white supremacist was interviewed and stated that he changed not because people shouted at him or shamed him but because a Lesbian and Jewish man whom he worked with treated him with kindness and respect. We don’t change anyone with shame. Lasting changes come from compassion and love.
It is up to all of us who want to create through love to stay conscious. We must remember, we all stumble as we try to wake up and grow. And we must not let our need to be right separate us from one another.
As more and more people are waking up, let’s make sure we embrace them and praise them for their courage rather than condemning or ridiculing them.
Change doesn’t come easy. When we witness it, we must celebrate it. Throw a party, not condemnation!
Until next time be the light the world needs and stay in love for all.
* “Safety nets are your go-to behaviors. Safety nets are born out of the falsehood that you must protect yourself at all costs from a dangerous and unpredictable world because you are unlovable, unloving, and unloved.” Heart of the Matter, pg. 230
Joffre McClung is the author of two books The Heart of the Matter: A Workbook and Guide to Finding Your Way Back to Self-Love (“Powerful insights…life-changing” FOREWORD CLARION ” A virtual hug…enriching” BLUEINK REVIEWS, “enlightening self-discovery process” KIRKUS REVIEWS and How Learning to Say Goodbye Taught Me How to Live ( “A thoughtful think piece.” Kirkus Reviews )